today's woman

now I am here.

2008-06-12T07:09:00.000-04:00

I moved to here:

I had a nice holiday.

2007-12-26T11:54:00.000-05:00

I must say I had a nice holiday. I ate some good foods, sat around like a loaf of bread and received some nice presents. I had a nice time I must say.
Everything I have done in the past few days has been about consuming and so then naturally I found one more thing that I would like.
I saw this wonderful infomercial about the Buxton Over the Shoulder bag.
In the new year I would like to be more organized and this Buxton bag could help with that.
Just look at it:

You can fit everything in the bag in an organized manner. Oh the magic of organization.

I was on the gchat with my pal Glennis McMurray and showed her the glory of the Buxton Bag and she noticed that there was something fishy with lady on the website.
She was correct! Look, the woman head picture was taken separately from the woman body picture!
Ahhh!

I still would like a Buxton bag even with the unattached head and all.
I'd like a Tan one, thank you.
I would wear it with my purple fanny pack.
I love outfits.
I hope you received a nice outfit for Christmas.

Thoughts for the new year

2007-12-18T11:47:00.000-05:00

I'm getting ahead of myself, I know. The year is not over. It's not even Christmas yet. Well hold on to your hats before you steam them off. Jeesh. So anyway, before this year ends, I wanted to make a new year's promise: I will try not to write about the poop that people yell at me while I walk down the street.

I mean gaw, I hardly even post on this blog and it seems that every other post is related to something some moron said to me in the street. How interesting can it be after a while? But the thing is, in the moment it feels like the most interesting thing in the world because
1. I am self centered
2. racial comments seem culturally relevant
3. I need something to write about in my blog and sometimes when I'm mad I write something more interesting than I would have were I happy and content. Maybe I should work on this.
4. Does this list even relate to why I started this list?
5. Orange Juice

So, I figured, this will be the last post about "what someone said to me while I was walking down the street" (for now, at least...I am trying).
And here goes...
I was turning a corner this morning near my block and almost ran into a man who startled me. Our eyes met and he said "Hi Chinee". There. Somehow it feels better to write that. Hi Chinee. I wanted to get that out there. Hi Chinee. It rhymes. It's poetry. It's beautiful and it is something I will have dreams about. A crusty man saying "Hi Chinee" to me as he toasts me a bagel and lovingly spreads scallion cream cheese on my bagel. That sounds more perverted than it needed to be. The point is, I got that off my chest. Someone said those actual words to me. Unfortunately I did not have a good comeback to that. I'm horrible with comebacks. The best I could come up with was "Hey asshole", but that's not poetic. It lacks something.
How about:
"No thanks"
or
"Merry Christmas"
or
"Pigs in a blanket mofo"

I think I like the last one best. When is the last time you had a delicious pig in a blanket? I remember when I did, and what a memory it was. I was at a Bar Mitzvah party book release and I bit into the pig in it's blanket and the pig was wrapped in plastic. I ate it anyway. Man, I just made that pleasant thought a bad memory. I'm good at that.

But I swear, I'm doing just fine. I'm eating Goji berries. So really, it's okay.
And here's to less talking about inappropriate things people yell at me in the new year.
Love,
Becky

in portland oregon

2007-09-14T13:08:00.000-04:00

oregon (o-ray-gone)

I'm very happy to be in Portland, OR.
It's beautiful.
I have had great coffee, healthy and non healthy foods, and had the opportunity to purchase some quality sundries.
Just look at my hoop earrings:

and then there's the Doug Fir where me and my pal Brian got some happy hour treats for $2.50 !!! Like wha? and the huh?
and the who? and also it was perty in the Doug Fir. I felt like I was in a very hip log cabin. There was a glass deer head on the wall. I didn't take a pic of it because I was too busy with the food, so just imagine it. A glass deer head.
The Doug Fir sign:

I told the people I want to move here because of the air and the mountains and the such, but the people say that people always say they want to move to Portland and never do. I guess I'll be one of those people. I am happy to be on the West coast. West coast style. Colorful socks and Tevas! and mountain gear.
What am I talking about?
Our show opens tonight at the Winningstead Theater as part of the TBA festival. I hear the theater is gorgeous and I can't wait to see it!
Toi toi toi!

So yes I don't mean to brag

2007-08-22T13:21:00.000-04:00

...but a man mistook me for a puppy yesterday morning. He made that noise you make when you want a puppy to come running to you. I was having coffee with my roommate Tom and looking out the window and a middle aged man was on foot making his way to the office and looked me right in the eyes and that is when he saw the fur and puppy ears and that is when his puppy instincts kicked in. Don't get me wrong. I love puppies and I'm okay with being confused for one.

This is a puppy.

This is me, making a puppy face.

I look like a puppy. I can't help it.
I enjoy baskets filled with sawdust and tiny milkbones, ooh and I love, love, love sleeping next to a ticking clock because it reminds me of my mother's heartbeat.

i'm in zurich

2007-08-14T17:26:00.000-04:00

So Zurich. I'm impressed with the clean streets the straight lines and individually wrapped pieces of meat in the market. Today was a day full of travel and it's already the next day. When we got here we waited around a bit for rooms but while we waited they served some pretty coffees. My camera is all wacky since I dropped it and the whole front face fell off, but I think you can still get a general sense of what is going on. Juliana is kindly holding the cute half and half next to her coffee.

By the way the only English tv station in the room is CNN and they keep talking about the defective toys in China that were sold in NY. Oops.
Oh and before that we were in a tall bus on the way to the hotel and passed this stuff. We are very near to the Limmat river and I even saw a frighteningly large swan in the river. I wanted to say it was fake, but we all knew it was real and I was scared inside but I told no one.

After eating a $20 omelet (no joke) we (me and Jennifer) went to the market to see if we could find some fruits and things and I held up the line while I tried to stuff my bag with the goods I bought because I didn't want to pay for a bag and also cause I'm so eco friendly (sadly I'm not) and I bought these strawberries. Look at how adorable they are. Jennifer was right in saying that they also tasted cute. They did. And I felt guilty for eating something so cute.

Maybe you can't tell but they're so tiny. I have child hands so you probably can't tell but dude these are small strawberries. They were meant for cute field mice to eat but I have taken the food belonging to field mice and taken it as my own. ha ha.

And tonight we had fondue. I had the traditional flavor and others had ham and cheese and pear liquer and things. It was delish.

But then look what happens as it heats and heats and heats:

And that is what it is doing in my stomach right now!
Sweet dreams!
Yay.

COUGARS!

2007-07-22T19:06:00.000-04:00

Me and my pal Ann Carr (otherwise known as Annabelish) made a beautiful video about love, the pursuit of love, and flowers.
Enjoy.

I am back I am but am I

2007-06-21T19:48:00.000-04:00

It's a strange place I am in. I feel like I'm a floating thing in the air, like a frisbee or something. Did I spell frisbee wrong? According to this spell check I have, but hell I don't care. frisbee. There it is again. Deal with it people. Wow I just got a little aggressive there. I think that is what happens when one floats too much. I just got back from Germany (because I am in a play written and directed by Young Jean Lee called "Songs" for short and it's fun but maybe you don't care about that, in which case, sure I understand you never asked why I was in Germany, but I thought I'd say what I was doing anyway cause that's what I'm in the business of doing, doing what I feel) and I think I'm unable to really absorb cultural things. All I can say is that indeed the hot dogs are better there. I'm sorry Minnesota. I know you pride yourself on your beer and bratwursts. But you'll have to sit in the backseat of the car of hot dog deliciousness. Did I just call a German wiener a hot dog? Yes, I did. I did that and you'll have to deal. There I go with my floaty behavior again. But I'm serious about sausage and hot dogs. When I speak of these things I am not joking. I don't joke about sausage. I don't joke about intestines stuffed with meat parts that have been dressed in things such as herbs and fennel or whathaveyou. That's one word. whathaveyou. one word.

The Oklahoma Project

2007-03-28T22:33:00.000-04:00

April 10, y'all at Galapagos.

I stopped posting for a while because I was exploring the caverns of somewhere and I was very cavey.
So, but also I started working on this new show and I'm excited about it cause it's fun.
Hope you can make it.
woo wee.

*poster designed by the lovely Emily Wilbur.

ancient chinese secret

2007-01-12T10:53:00.000-05:00

I am a receptionist. It is what I have done for years. Yesterday while stretching at my desk at the mid-day yawn, a man who works down the hall walked by and said "Oh, ha, I thought you were doing tai chi or something". Ha. I giggled at him. A tee hee hee. When he looked the other way, I reached into his chest with my strong disciplined tai chi arms, and pulled out his live heart, still beating in my hands. I then made a simple soup stock with carrots, celery, onion and a little bit of ginger, put the fresh heart in the stock and served the soup the the rest of the office. They all were pleased with the taste as well as the aroma of the soup. They exclaimed, "This is delicious, what did you put in here?" I giggled and said, "ancient Chinese secret".

Martin Short!

2007-01-07T21:46:00.000-05:00

Crystal, Martin Short in his robe, and me.

holidays and on to the new year

2007-01-01T23:43:00.000-05:00

The holidays blah blah blah now officially over. I worried. I fretted and now the start of a new year. (I am neatly adjusting my stack of paper and sitting up straight.)
But here are some memories from the past few weeks...

This is my cousin Christina enjoying some bubbly and showing holiday spirit to the acorn wooden bar post thing.

This is my other cousin Tracey (I have more cousins but that's another story). We're going on a walk and she's showing her sheer enthusiasm for walks, sun and Christamas pudding (an English delicacy that is served with custard)

I am paying my respects to Santa who in turn is paying respects to the baby Jesus. Santa, thanks for taking off your hat. Thank you also for the bag of Fiber One. I really love fiber and you, and your son...wait a second.

We move on to New Years Eve and to Adira Amram's party. Lots of pretty people, dancing and drinking of champagne out of high heeled shoes.

Adira and me. (note Adira is dressed as New Years itself.)
Two cheeses and a 5 gallon jug of cheesey poofs.
Hard to decide which is packed more with real cheese.

Baron Vaughn with a plate of treats. Always there to give a friend some food, that Baron. Actually Baron presented me with a plate with two small morsels. I did not touch either, rather I settled for a bag of vittles called "combos".

Me and my roomie Crystal. She's looking very doe eyed. This was before she realized I was throwing gang signs behind her head at which point she stabbed me, but luckily the knife only went in 1 inch. I bled a little, we all breathed a sigh of relief and had a good laugh.

And then the party turned to dance fever.

I don't know what this move is, nor do I remember how this happened.

No words. Just look.

Adira Amram peacing out. Peace good people. Peace.
2007 yes.

yes, i feel the chill

2006-11-21T15:09:00.000-05:00

I felt the chill this morning and decided to buy a coat. It's kind of ugly I'll admit but this coat is slowly making its way to my office.
Wow this cute lil picture is making me think maybe it's cute. It was purchased in black and I hope I guestimated the correct size as the virtual fitter didn't work for this option. It's winter soon everyone.
Also today I read a heartwarming story about how a man grew his very own turkey and then killed it. There's more to it but it quite entertained me.
I am also preparing myself for the ultimate hibernation. I made beef stew last night. It tasted better this morning after it had a chance to congeal and cool. Well it didn't really congeal but it did taste better today. Also in the works for my hibernation cave, a cozy for a bottle of Jim Beam.

2006-11-20T14:35:00.000-05:00

TomKat!
just kidding.

Stickerbook takes pictures

2006-11-12T17:14:00.000-05:00

Thursday the band that I am a proud member of, Stickerbook, took pictures. It was quite an event I tell you, quite an event. Costumes came out. Instruments were held. Poses were taken.

Sue Galloway
Guitar

Eliza Skinner
Drums

Me
Beard (sometimes keyboard)
(Jen Hammaker in the background)

Becky Poole
Saw and Accordian

Jen Hammaker
Theremin, Keys, fanny pack

What did you do on Columbus Day?

2006-10-09T14:39:00.000-04:00

A: I cut a banana.

Some people will undoubtedly have stories about their Columbus Day antics. I have no doubt in my mind that there are stories of naked dancing and making love in the streets. I however, spent the day in the way most responsible citizens in New York did. I cut a banana with a banana slicer. I have no idea where this banana slicer came from. I only know that I made oatmeal and simply stated, "I would like some sliced banana", at which point my roommate Tom brought out an invention I have never before laid my eyes upon. My other roommate Crystal seem unfazed by the events that would take place.
Please be warned. Some of the pictures displayed are graphic in nature and content.

The banana was remarkable in length. Just look at how it measures up to our hands. Notice the chipped nail polish on my nail. It's time for a manicure.

This picture needs no words. Just look at Tom. Just look at Crystal. All are marvelling at the banana cutter. How. How does such a thing exist? And what will it mean for you and me and all our future experiences with bananas? And knives? And what of babies? What will all the babies do now that this invention has made its way into our lives?

The Process: Note the concentration. Not just any old bozo can work the wondrous contraption known as the banana cut master. The slices of banana must be planned so that each portion of the banana is sliced equally. We're talking balance. Crystal takes pause from reading to witness this great event.

The deed has been done. The banana has been sliced. The wind blows through the trees leaving a rememberance of days past. A small child cries out for justice.

My Disney Nectarine

2006-09-13T09:19:00.000-04:00

This morning I noticed something. The little nectarine I had brought to work for breakfast was a Disney Nectarine from the Disney Gardens. A couple things popped in my head:

1. Did one of the Disney creatures plant the tree that produced my fruit? I wish I could be there to see that.

2. After I eat this piece of genetically altered fruit, put on this earth by alien robots, will I start growing hair from my ears and walk with a limp? Will a baby alien live in my stomach until It Is Time? And when It Is Time, will it drill it's way out of my body, make a big mess and horrify my office mates? I'm sure it would happen during regular business hours.

Only time will tell.
Okay, just found out with the help of my cousin that the fruit is made in the Imagination farms.
http://www.dailybulletin.com/business/ci_4296036
I guess children won't eat fruit unless there is a picture of Mickey Mouse on it. As for me, I won't eat fruit unless it has fruit on it. I know, it's weird but I won't.

Man Man you make me piss myself

2006-08-16T09:42:00.000-04:00

Sorry I yelled that into your phone last night.
And yes, Man Man, you make me happy.

Cakeout!

2006-08-04T23:57:00.000-04:00

Hey, see what me and Erin Rose Foley made.

This will forever give me nightmares

2006-07-31T22:50:00.000-04:00

Today while flipping through the most recent issue of Rolling Stone (a subscription I got for the handy dandy price of $5. I love talking about deals. I have no idea why.), I happened upon an ad with two men standing in a lake or pond or some other body of water holding a large, what seemed to be fake catfish. Thinking that a catfish of that size could exist scared me. To my dismay a catfish of that size could exist, and it does. My ever helpful roommate Tom emailed me a link to this disgusting picture of two men holding a real catfish. Disgusting. Oh lord. Look at that thing. It's ready to turn and eat the shorter man. I'm going to dream about it talking to me and tricking me into believing it has magical powers and then when I'm not looking the mystically humungoid fish will bat me in the head with it's tail and swish off laughing in a deep mocking tone, and I'll think to myself, "What a jerk. You stupid ugly fish". And I'll sigh and go back to collecting shiny stones.

ahnree bondael

2006-07-25T23:21:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I performed at the fancy department store Henri Bendel. You might say to youself, "Becky, you don't belong there, that's where ladies belong and you are certainly no lady". Well, that's not very nice of you to say, but I'll forgive you. I actually like performing in spaces that aren't meant for comedy. I have performed in an Indian restaurant, a strip mall and just last week I performed at a BBQ. I think I should strictly do shows in places people wouldn't expect there to be a performance. I will be seeing you at your local Gristedes.

This here is Desiree Burch standing in front of the Henri Bendel entrance. Desiree hosted the evening which included performances by Jessica Delfino, Chelsea Peretti, Giulia (aka Guileau) Rozzi, Elizabeth Dahmen and Rachel Shukert. Wait, but look at the display behind Desiree. Those are golden ball sacks. Come into our store. Golden ball sacks await you. It's like the ball sacks of old money inviting you in. Come on in.

This is the stage we performed on. Look at the fancy gowns. During Rachel's peformance a lady came out and asked her to "keep it down" because famed hair stylist Fredrick Fekkai was speaking. I don't know if I spelled that right. I just know he does something with hair and is very important. He must have been saying something like "Ladies, ladies don't fight. All of you can touch my fa fa hands that have graced the golden locks of Jennifer Anniston and Reese Witherspoon". They were all holding hands and having a spiritual moment.

Btw this is not a shot of me performing. This was taken after everything was done. It reminds me of when I had piano recitals as a kid and after the recital was over, my mom made me sit at the piano and pretend to play so she could get a good shot because she couldn't take a pic while the recital was going on, and I'd smile at the camera which is totally unnatural cause when I played piano I cried.

Goodbye from Midtown. Look at this shit. Trees growing out of the side of a mirrored building. Thanks mister Trump.

Wait this is kinda funny

2006-07-25T11:47:00.000-04:00

Last year I taped this thing for the New York Television Festival. You can also see my pals Brandy Barber and Ashley Sronce in it. It's a fun time.

http://www.newyorktelevisionfestival.com/mytvshow

Yeah. If it seems I'm acting strange it's because they prod me with a hot iron right before they shot this and after it was shot they threw a glass of water at my face.

Backstage Pass

2006-07-13T00:19:00.000-04:00

The Fabulous Entourage! Live at the Knitting Factory! This pic was taken from backstage. That's right, I was backstage at the Knitting Factory. Did I mention I'm a huge nerd and I was so giddy about being back stage?

Last night I got to help co host the Fabulous Entourage show with my pal Tony Carnevale. I still can't completely handle the fact that I was backstage at the Knitting Factory. For a moment I imagined it was 1989 and we were backstage at a New Kids on the Block concert and Jordan Knight had run backstage in between songs to get a towel to wipe youthful sweat from his brow after doing many many Roger Rabbits and Cabbage Patch Kids (the dance moves--just in case you were thinking something else), only to gaze at me and say "Girl this song is for you", and he'd hand me a rose, take off his shirt and then run back onstage again just in time to sing "My Favorite Girl" with that amazing falsetto that made me piss myself. Fortunately his voice doesn't do that to me any more. It was a problem.

Hey, look at this picture I took of the audience. Look at that couple in the back to the left. They look very constipated. Right after this picture was taken, men and women jumped on stage and showed us their hotness in wet shirts...a great American tradition. George Washington himself said "A man that can wear a wet t-shirt is a man I like". I wish he said that. I'm sure he said things like that. I hear he was quite the jokester. Anyway, I saw some nip but the T Shirts were dark in color and I had to point to the nips with my fingers and then the sound guy had to bring the lights up and then we had to bring magnifying glasses out. Yes, it seemed this batch of folk had tiny areola. It was innocent harmless fun I tell ya.

I am sorry that I do not have pictures of the contestants. I did see four pair of areola and some great boobs both male and female. The ultimate winner of the contest was a lady named Asia. I promise there was no favoritism even though my ancestors did in fact live in Asia and I am Asian, and enjoy Asian food, and Asian folk are my peeps, and Asians invented brick candy. Asia (the person, not the continent) said a funny. She said her name really was Asia and she wasn't saying that just because she was standing next to me. I laughed and then pretended to be offended. It was all part of the act. Later I knifed her.

Jen Hammaker rockin out to the tunes. She dances like a gazelle.

Summery and Sunned

2006-07-11T01:04:00.000-04:00

In the Summer time da da dee dee dee dee.
I love the summer. I was chatting online with my cousin and she asked me where I was going on holiday this summer (she is using that British term! Oh the Brits!). I really should make plans to go somewhere, but for now there are some times to be had and some sights to be seen in the city. Here are a few of my favorite pics from the last few days...

This is the current Marc Jacobs window. The children of the future all wear Marc Jacobs. They are better dressed than you can ever hope to be and they're all very happy about it. This is the army of the future. Marc has created them and they will destroy you with their little porcelain hands. They care little of what you love or hope for. They are here for souls and human blood.

Look at this cute lil box of wine. An adult juice box. Very pretty in color and delicious! Perfect for parties or when you're on the go! You know the times when you want to get drunk, but you're sitting with a glass of wine and you feel so hindered cause really you just want to take that glass of wine and walk around town, but you don't want to face the stares when you walk into the market with your pesky glass. Now you can gallivant around town unhindered and go about your business. Thank you the makers of baby box wine! Thank you.

Yay Les Savy Fav. Good fun music and free! There's nothing like things that are free and good. It's like someone handed you a piece of scrumptious chocolate cake and said "Eat, enjoy!" and you're like "What? Are there needles in this? Has someone hidden pieces of poo in here?" And the person is like "No, go for it!" and it's delicious and you're happy and fat and full and you drink a glass of vitamin D whole milk, sit on your couch in your underwear and fall asleep satisfied with a bit of drool on your chin.
Oh in the Summer time la la di da di dah.

Kristin Cavallari are you my sister?

2006-07-07T10:40:00.000-04:00

I hate to admit that for the five seconds I had cable, I watched Laguna Beach. It's shameful to admit really. Watching the lives of these bland beautiful rich people and the teen drama. Oh the drama. I enjoyed it. What can I say? The tiniest part of me identified with the kids of Laguna Beach...the part of me that wished I grew up near the beach, had $$$ and a mane of beautiful blonde hair. Hell I'm not blonde and I grew up way inland, far from the fair beaches of Laguna, but I still yearned. And somehow, even though my life in Arcadia was very different from Kristin Cavallari and her friends, somehow I am just like her since we are both from Southern California and people will associate me with the first Californinan they can think of which will inevitably be Kristin Cavallari...even though she is technically from Orange County and I am from Los Angeles County. Oh the things people from LA county say about people from the OC. (We say they are rich and from the beach, and those things are true.)

Yesterday as I was about to purchase a beer at my local watering hole, I was asked to present my ID. Even though I have lived in New York for a few years, I have yet to obtain a New York ID. This must be illegal somehow, but I am too lazy to make the effort, plus I love that my California ID has a picture of me from when I was 17. The picture is amazing. I look like someone punched me in the face and then they took the picture.

In any case, the fair bar maiden took a look at my ID and said "Oh Arcadia, I've never been there". Since I was feeling a bit chatty, I replied "Oh? So you've been to California?"
-Oh I'm from California.
-Oh yeah? Where are you from?
-The East Bay.
-Oh cool, the Bay Area. I love the Bay Area.
-Yeah. Where is Arcadia?
-Oh it's in Southern California.
-Oh. I've never been to Los Angeles. I'm afraid to go down there.

What the fuck? Seriously. First off imagine her saying this with the strongest of Valley Girl accents. What is she talking about? She's afraid to go there? Is it because she's afraid of the riots? That was more than a decade ago. Is she afraid that the people of Los Angeles will suck the culture out of her?
She continued.

-Haven't you heard about the rivalry between Northern and Southern California?
-Yeah, but I think it's more about people in Northern California hating people in Southern California. Everyone I know from Southern California loves Northern California.
-Interesting. Very interesting.

Wait, really? Is it interesting? I don't find it interesting. I just find you really stupid. I have no idea why this woman made me so mad. I hate regionalism, that is why. Where there is an "ism" in the world, I will fight it. I think I also hate this conversation. Who cares? But I guess if she was from Fresno I'd laugh a little inside. Ha Fresno, the armpit of America. That place sucks.

I can only assume this Northern Californian resented me and Kristin because we represent a whimsy, a sort of careless beach attitude. We love being sun kissed and we love wearing the breeziest of cotton dresses and bikinis without a care in the world while we wait in line for our Vanilla Ice blendeds from the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf while our little chihuahua softly coos and naps in our tanned arms. I can't fault her for her ignorance and hate. I can only say, "Kristin, you and me babe." That's all I know how to say. That is all I have been taught to say.

happy independence

2006-07-05T02:22:00.000-04:00

Happy 4th of July!
Here is my friend Tom making friends with the local drunk. Guess who's drunker? Hard to tell, really. I must say it has been a pretty good 4th. Watching the fireworks and seeing real fire being consumed and licked by a man. I stood mere inches from this man and his fire. (it sounds more exciting than it is.) I was told he was in a PBS commercial by a woman named Lola. A real live Lola. Also there was another woman there, I won't mention her nationality, (she might have been Chinese--I'm not saying a word because I am also half Chinese but I think my mom who is also Chinese, might have something to say, but I won't say the thing that my mom might say about people from China, because it's offensive and wrong but maybe in this case true.) but while I went to talk with a friend, I stupidly left my sausage unattended. While my back was turned this woman took said sausage and ate it, bun and all. She was also rumored to have taken my roommate's sausage from the grill in addition to another one of my sausages from the grill. Later she was seen pocketing large beers and a large bag of chips. Later I saw her with a very cute baby and I wondered if that was her child. I seemed to have remembered coming to the party with a small baby...But besides that, I saw quite a bit of fire on Independence Day.

This guy was not kidding.
He was for real. He ate the fire right in front of us with no shame. Proud of the flames. He even touched my shoulder with one of his fiery mitts. It was an experience to be had on our great nation's celebration of independence, even if this fire eater dude was Scottish.

Here is a leg posing/resting moment. It was discovered that posing with one leg on a porch and leaving one on the ground gave some rest to your lower back. Please try it at home. Notice our hot legs. Also notice the differences in size, texture, and color. Oh people are different.

fireworks.

fire man.

The End.

I love you Man Man

2006-06-30T09:45:00.000-04:00

I caught the flu somehow and for most of yesterday I was dead to the world, but it didn't stop me from fulfilling my destiny with the Fiery Furnaces. I drank that disgusting liquid Zicam and popped those magic crystals (found out the magic crystals were oscillococcinum) and trudged out in the rain to see the Fiery Furnaces. The Fiery Furnaces were live and very much in charge. I love electricity and rock. Together they are nice. Okay anyway, so yes, the Fiery Furnaces were amazing, yes, but ManMan, the opening act of the evening made my heart break a few times over. When I bought tickets a couple weeks ago and told my roommates that Man Man was opening, I said "ManMan, who's ManMan?" and all they said was "Oh you'll like ManMan". They predicted correctly, for it is true, I love ManMan. I don't think it's possible not to like ManMan. ManMan is a group of 5 guys who wear all white in the form of t-shirts, polo shirts, white pants, white boxers. It seems almost like they all just found what they each had in their wardrobe that happened to be white. A few of them were also wearing white face paint warrior style. And there they were situated in this kind of circle, the keyboardist and main singer, and drummer facing each other in front, and the three dudes in the back playing horns, glockenschpiels (a personal favorite--it makes me squeal like a little girl, no joke), a xylophone, a bass, a guitar, and other type instruments. God they're amazing. All the energy and jumping around and circus noises and everything. I don't even know. All I know is I love you Man Man.

magic beads!

2006-06-28T15:18:00.000-04:00

Today I started my day the way I usually do, with the drag and dread of having to stare at people and post-its (first I typed that as "postits" and that looks funny... like "post tits"...hmmn.) and computer screens. I felt that same drag today, but I should have suspected that something was wrong, because there was extra drag, like drag and a half. Around noon I felt something strange in my neck, I felt like an alien was making it's way out of my neck to jump into the world and terrorize it with it's sharp teeth and acid blood. It really hurt and I came to realize that my glands were swollen. Disgusting. My glands. Glands, ew. They make me think of pinkish red squishy things with bulbs and that grosses me out.
I started telling my coworkers about feeling sick, hoping if it got bad enough they'd say "Go home, you're sick!" but instead my coworker gave me this little vial filled with tiny little pebbles that tasted like sugar. She said she got it from the health food store. I have no idea what they were, but a few moments later and I feel like a new woman! A new woman I tell you! I can run and jump and even make a copy or two. Yeah, I'm skilled. So what?

makeup in the subway

2006-06-01T09:25:00.000-04:00

I'm not sure if it's rude to put on make up in the subway. I know I've seen something about how it's bad ettiquete in some girly magazine. I don't care that much, but it is weird to watch a woman look at herself in a tiny mirror and apply bronzer forever. This happened today on my subway ride to work. A tiny young woman stood in the middle of the subway gripping to the subway pole with her arm while she brushed bronzer on her pointy little face. It should not have mattered to me. I should not have cared, but for some reason I did care and I blame it on her snarky smile. I hate snarky smiles. She kept smiling at herself as she applied coat after coat of bronzer. How much bronzer does one woman need? This woman needed what seemed to be at least 30 coats. And that smile! That smug little snarky smile. As I continued trying not to stare but also stare, I realized this woman also had a severe case of camel toe! How could she stand there so smugly while she was exposing a part down there! I couldn't believe it. Pounds of bronzer being applied to a smug face and not to mention a severe case of camel toe! Somehow the two cancelled out each other and everything was just in the world, or at least in that subway car. Justice, sweet justice.

2006-05-18T11:57:00.000-04:00

today the party man

2006-05-11T16:13:00.000-04:00

I sit at a front desk for a living. Today I met an magical man...well, actually he is what one might call a party man. He was handing out business cards for his company that sells party goods. He handed me a card and said "For any upcoming parties you might have". Then as he turned he said "The biggest collection in the world", and winked. How could I not feel mystical?

i thought i saw a stroke

2006-05-07T16:12:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, while casually walking through the city, I swear I saw a Stroke. He was a tall, handsome man with skinny jeans, an unassuming white t-shirt and legs that wouldn't quit. Woo wee. I don't know. He looked like a Stroke and I thought it was one. This morning I was disappointed to find it wasn't one (I went to their official website). What a jerk I am. I just assume all skinny tall cute men are a part of the Strokes. What a jerk.

sudoku?

2006-05-01T15:19:00.000-04:00

I don't get you Sudoku. I mean I get you. I get how you as a puzzle works. But I wonder what happened to you? How did you get so popular overnight? I feel like when I was a kid you were just a puzzle but now, now you've hit it big time. I get it. You're all fancy, showing up in newspapers and people writing whole articles about you. Oh Sudoku. Oh you! Who would have known you'd be so fancy? So fancy. And you're just numbers. Just lil numbers in boxes, yet the power you contain within those boxes. The power! And so I say, Sudoku I surrender. I mean I won't do your puzzles, but I'll leave you be. I'll let you be.

today

2006-05-01T11:52:00.000-04:00

Today "Remington Steele" was in the crossword I was doing. This must mean something, or maybe it doesn't. Alls I know is that I used to love me some Remington Steele...but maybe I shouldn't have. But hey, I liked it.
Should I remember what it was about more? It was about detectives and it was sexy and it really was the lady who started it but then the dude came in and...that was the story.
Great, I'm glad I almost remember it.

america sings but my mom shouldn't

2006-04-26T09:28:00.000-04:00

Last night I tried out my new show "America Sings", and it got me to thinking about singing and people and singing. My mom is the worst singer in the world. I can say this because she is. She is almost tone deaf but that doesn't stop her from yelling Elvis songs. She doesn't really sing, she just talk/yells. I know I'm being very mean right now, but it's okay because she'll never read this. She never learned to read. That's right, my mother is illiterate. She has gotten by on her good looks and her extremely loud yelling voice. Also she is 6 feet tall and she eats all meat raw. Her talons are ten feet long and children run from her. I love my mom. I really miss not seeing her more often. I hope she'll one day fly over to New York and say "hi". Her wingspan is pretty amazingly large. I'd say it reaches over 30 feet and in a good wind it stretches further.

the smell of corn

2006-04-22T11:17:00.000-04:00

I think corn chips are delicious. I enjoy them. I wish that in the summer my feet as well as most people's feet didn't smell like them. I mean, I'm disgusting for thinking about this longer than I need to but is it worth it? Is it worth the smell of cornchips to eat them? All I think about is the smell and it always smells like feet, but corn chips are delicious. They make that sandwich extra special. When I was a kid this girl in my class always put corn chips in her ham sandwich. Very smart, very very smart. I wish I had invented that. I bet somewhere in America they're selling that sandwich as a little thing people can laugh at. "Hey, how original we are. We put chips IN the sandwich, that way people don't need to get their hands messy by picking up those greasy greasy chips. Aren't we amazing and inventive people?" I would say yes, but I knew a girl in grade school who did that way before you even thought of it. She's the OG of the chips in sandwich. Don't even try to steal her thunder, you haters.

my favorite childhood memory

2006-04-19T12:20:00.000-04:00

So yesterday I had an audition for something where they separated us into groupings according to race, which is always fun. I was in the Asian woman category and there we sat. A row of Asian women. We were escorted to a room and told to recount our favorite childhood memory. (this could have been a dangerous question. What if they asked a child from the Industrial Revolution about a favorite childhood memory? That kid would have to say, "Sir it was the one day I had to play on the grass, when I was six". But I guess kids during the Industrial Revolution didn't audition for commercials.) Luckily us Asian ladies had some good memories.

The girl next to me, an authentic Japanse girl from Japan, talked about this story she was told as a kid about how there is a rabbit that lives in the moon that makes mochi. I love that. I can see that little rabbit now smooshing mochi by himself in an apron. That was maybe my favorite story out of the bunch.
This was my favorite memory:
I used to love rabbits. What kid didn't? Am I right? (funny there's a rabbit theme here)
When I was eight, my mom brought home two bunnies, Floppy and Fluffy who almost immediately after they arrived, made babbies. A month or so after Floppy and Fluffy settled in, there were eight more bunnies in our home. One night after staring at them for hours, I noticed one baby bunny slipped out of the cage. My dad built the hutch so there were a couple small gaps. I'm not saying he was a bad craftsman. I'm just saying there were some gaps is all. Well so I picked up the miniature baby rabbit and brought it to safety. I saved a life. It is perhaps the best thing I have done for mankind in my entire life. The only thing is that it wasn't for mankind. It was rabbitkind. Oh well, it's close, right?

I don't deserve this phone....

2006-04-14T16:20:00.000-04:00

Well about two days ago I got this phone. This one up here. How? Well I upgraded my plan, blah blah blah. There was a rebate. Blah Blah. But the fact is, I have this piece of technology that I don't quite know how to completely and fully use. But I keep holding it and staring at it and pushing buttons and am marvelled at it. Wow the screen lights up like a television. It's in color. All my life, I prided myself in being behind times, having a phone that has a dull green glow. I was one of the last of my friends to get a cell phone (well, actually I know people who got them even later, and in my heart I know they're like hard core lovers of antiquity or something.)
So, new phone, I'll call you Bertha ann. Oh, I don't care what name I give it. Oh phone, just know that I am very happy to have you. Thank you for your screen full of color, your camera, your sleek design. Thank you.

2006-04-10T01:14:00.000-04:00

Omigod these guys are the bestest.
Tim in the front and Nathan in the back.
This was on a Thursday, when I performed at the Shortfuse show.
What a night. All those Whiskey Macs and just giggling about things.
Oh London, I miss you.
Yay! Hey!
Woo Woo!

pants don't fit

2006-04-07T06:27:00.000-04:00

This is a throwback to the olden times when boys wore their pants very low and some claimed they saw the underwear.
And they did.
All four of them wearing very low pants. Perhaps this is nothing new nor is it anything fantasmical. It's just cute and funny. I had a little laugh about it all. Look at those pants man, they're low. Look at that. What are they doing with those low pants? How do they run? Do they find a need to run? Who would they be running to and why? I have so many questions about this all.

i went to london...i'll post one picture at a time

2006-03-26T23:26:00.000-05:00

This is the first photo I took in London. I thought it was so hilarious. By the way, I'm a teenage boy and I laugh like a horse and still have braces.

Anyway, rumor has it that Prince Albert had a Prince Albert and it was to secure his ding dong* when he went horse back riding and also so that there wouldn't be so much of a bulge when he wore tight pants. Wikipedia says so and so does one British dude I met, so it must be true.

*There'd be a ring in the ding dong and then a rope that went around the waist. Or so they say.

i think i should be a country singer

2006-03-24T10:55:00.000-05:00

I think I can sing the blues about anything. Everything has it's sad side. Maybe I shouldn't say "sing the blues" if I'm speaking about country. We're talking about two different styles of music here, but I bet somehow they're linked in some sort of family tree-like way. I should know that but I don't. I even took a music appreciation class once but eh.
I want to sing a sad sad song. Here's my attempt. Imagine I'm strumming an acoustic guitar and I'm howling:

Oh I live in a gutter and I don't take showers
I look out my window and shout at the towers
woo woo woo woo woo.
My face is so banged up people think I'm a creep
And I'm so poor I think my leftovers I'll keep

Wow I really suck at this.
Writing country blues songs is harder than I thought. I bet I could come up with more if I had a life. I imagine if I was a baroness and wore diamonds and sighed with my gloved hand and asked my maidservant to please tell me a story to distract me from my malaise, well then I would have some good country songs then. But as it is...my blues will include bits about fluorescent lighting, paper cuts and ordering office supplies. That's just where I'm at right now.

tripping the physical kind

2006-02-09T11:12:00.000-05:00

A couple days ago I was standing on a corner near my office in Midtown waiting for the light to change, (not MY office, but the office I work in) and suddenly felt a push and grab. I screamed only to realize that a lady holding her violin case and large handbag was falling on me. I breathed a sigh of relief . I worried that this experience would be similar to my experience on that exact corner a couple months ago in which a man nonchalantly grabbed my ass and walked off as if nothing happened. So in my relief I said to the woman, "Oh you scared me", not even checking to see if she was okay. I was just overly relieved that it was not some sleezy guy trying to cop a feel. Phew.

What

2006-02-01T09:31:00.000-05:00

I want really badly to eat an egg sandwich. You say, "Hey dude, just order one. What harm can you do?" That's true. The thing is, today I was smart enough to bring breakfast, a healthy yogurt and granola. I actually remembered to do this. So now, what do I do? Do I waste money and buy a sandwich? Who cares? I don't. But clearly I do a little...just a little bit.

These are the debates that plague me during a day. "How pathetic" you might say to yourself. You would be right. Is this what it's come to? Debating on whether or not to eat a friggin sandwich? This is what it's come to--and it is for this reason I will just sit here and wonder. Sit here at this desk, in total quiet. Hoping that a true answer will present itself.

This is how I spend my days.

2006-01-30T16:13:00.000-05:00

GENIUSES OF LOVE MOTHAFUCKA
(a night of lonely hearts)
Geniuses of Love!
Galapagos
Back room
Feb 14
8pm
$5
70 North 6th Street
between Kent and Wythe
Williamsburg, Brooklyn, NY 11211
718 782-5188

Do you feel like love is hiding from you? Maybe it's hiding in the forest of self-doubt, or in the mall of recriminations. It could even be in the dentist's office of despair. Wherever love is hiding, love experts Becky Yamamoto and Tony Carnevale will help you sniff it out. Join them and an army of entertaining special guests at 8pm on Valentine's Day at Galapagos. Featuring: Rachel Kramer Bussel, Chelsea Peretti, Patrick Borelli, Lang Fisher, Michelle Collins, Carolyn K. Castiglia, Alan Fessenden, Joe Randazzo, Frank Philbrick, Mike Barry, sketch group A Week of Kindness, and the band Ladystein.

grizzly man

2006-01-25T11:21:00.000-05:00

I saw "Grizzly Man" last night, that documentary about this man who loved bears so much he lived with them in the forest and eventually got eaten by a bear. Some called him "retarded" others thought of him as a kindred spirit, and others saw him as a meal. (this is my shortened version. Maybe you should see it on your own and come to your own conclusions. I don't claim to be a movie reviewer, but I think I would give it 3 out of 5 paws.)But this bear here, this bread bear is my revenge on that bear. I can eat this bread bear and it can't fight back. Or bear claws, those delicious pastries that you serve with coffee in the morning and serve 4-5 people. Yum. I could eat a bear claw and dive into this bear bread. I am making myself hungry. I could also then eat a fruit plate and maybe an egg sandwich and then wash it down with some coffee or maybe a tea.

so

2006-01-19T09:26:00.000-05:00

So maybe you think this discussion about Michelle Kwan is over, but it's not. Hey, she's got big nostrils. I said it and I don't care.
No. I don't mean to be such a jerk. I just wanted to see how much I could really write about her and somehow relate it back to me.

Let's have this discussion. I'm on the Asian tip now. So, I know most of us look the same, us Asians and you can't tell the difference between a Korean and a Japanese. Fine.
Here take this test http://www.alllooksame.com/default.asp and see if you know your Asians. I failed the test. I don't know my Asians. Honestly I think they trick you by having Asians with dyed hair. The dyed hair will get you every time. Is that guy um? Shit. Clearly that guy is like...I have no clue.
It's fine. Admit it. I look like Woody Allen's wife/daughter and Connie Chung. It's fine.

michelle kwan?

2006-01-05T09:50:00.000-05:00

So Michelle Kwan...an obvious topic of discussion for me. As a kid, the only Asian sports figure I looked up to was that tennis player Michael Chang. In fact when he won the US Open or whatever, my dad took me to the tennis court to hit some balls around (tennis balls). I think we both knew I would never be a tennis star, but it was worth dreaming, right?
So Michelle Kwan, she may go to the Olympics. Maybe I can go one day too. The first time I went ice skating with my Girl Scout troupe, my mom sensibly packed a white leotard and tights. The other girls had curduroy pants and I was left there to look like an ice princess. My mother knew then what I know now...that I was meant to skate. I am here to skate for you.

cute

2006-01-03T14:03:00.000-05:00

The cute thing. So there is that recent
New York Times article about cuteness and it got me thinking about cuteness. Part of the reason Pandas have survived extinction is due to how irresistably cute they are. I'll admit it. I wish I could cuddle with a Panda. And sure, I love things that are cute. I'll even go "ooh" "awwww" and tilt my head at cuteness.

It makes me wonder... If there were a huge Panda that wanted to take over the world would we let it just because it's cute? I think we would. And the Panda would make us do weird things like build amusement parks based on bamboo and make our children speak Panda and we'd have to wear mits to make our hands look like bear paws. I'm not saying we'd be miserable. I'm just saying that life would be very very different from the life we know now.
There would be libraries where the only things you could borrow would be rodents and bamboo seeds to grow bamboo. Also, no one could ever wear a pelt of any kind. We'd be oppressed dammit, and the ugly things of the world, the haggard opossum would laugh and say, "Look, it's your own damned fault. You let a Panda rule the world". And there would be tears.

upcoming things

2006-01-02T18:06:00.000-05:00

Brutal Honesty
January 10
8pm
Otto's Shrunken Head
Free!
This month's topic:
Temp Jobs!

Featuring:
Lang Fisher
Baron Vaughn
Joe Devito

and as always hosted by Lianne Stokes, Giulia Rozzi and me

and coming soon:

Geniuses of Love!
aka Tony Carnevale and Becky Yamamoto
Feb 14 2006
Galapagos Art Space
with special guests
8pm

Yamaholiday Spectacular!

2005-12-05T23:02:00.000-05:00

Hi all!
Yamaholiday!
A masterpiece of things!
Songs! Spectacle! Men! Women! Elves!
Eggnog!

December 9
Galapagos
8pm
$5
with the Flanks!

I hope to see you all there.

Featuring the talents of:

Lang Fisher
Michelle Collins
Michael Cyril Creighton
Baron Vaughn
Desiree Burch
The Fabulous Entourage
Tony Carnevale
Joe Randazzo
Jon Friedman
Lianne Stokes
JB Rote
Becky Poole
Jimmy Owens
Daiva Deupree
JJ Shebesta
Sara Schaefer
Michal Pasternak

Be there!

a list of things i have sorted

2005-11-16T01:04:00.000-05:00

Not to get all into one topic and then obsess over it but....

Here is a list of things I have sorted, and how I sorted each item.

JEANS
1. Alphabetized jeans according to wash names.
(skills needed: a strong grasp of the alphabet.)
2. Sorted jeans according to manufacturer.
(This is almost turning into a resume. I didn't mean for that to happen, but
incidentally,if anyone is hiring, let me know.)
3. Picked out ugly jeans and put them into the trash
(You need a good eye for ugly jeans. A real good eye.)

LEGAL FILES
1. Arranged files in an alphabetical order according to case name and case number.
(similar to skill set mentioned in "JEANS" no. 1)
2. Attached hand written labels and sometimes label maker labels to files.
3. Sorted through own personal opinions as to who was "right" in each case.

POO FACTORY
1. Found pieces of poo in life: the street, a field, a shoe.
2. Made piles according to color, texture and firmness: sometimes age of poo put into consideration.
3. Made labels with label maker for individual pieces of poo and sorted alphabetically. (some of my fave poo names were: coiny, furry, mike)

a new monday and a new temporary thing

2005-11-07T23:47:00.000-05:00

This is the face of sorting.

I think when I look at myself in the mirror, I think to myself,"Hey, I look like I can sort things". Today I embarked on yet another job of sorting things. I must say, that I do love a free lunch, which I enjoyed with my friend the wonderful and talented Lianne Stokes, who has saved me from the depths of despair with this job.

I stuffed my gullet full of F-R-E-E food while sorting through costume jewelry. It was just like college. Perhaps my mother would be somehow proud of me because of her love for costume jewelry, fake bear jackets, and too much eye shadow. Perhaps I am revealing too much.

Keep this date in your planner

2005-11-03T15:12:00.000-05:00

Hi friends.
Keep this date in your planner.
December 9
8pm
Galapagos....
It is then that I will host a Holiday Spectacular of sorts.
Yamaholiday!
(This is the working title)
or maybe
Holimoto!
Hmmn... It maybe doesn't have to revolve around my name.
I'm sorry. I am a little self obsessed. Disgusting.
But just put this in your calendar. It'll be fun. There'll be eggnog and fun and booze and just fun!

Show for the masses

2005-10-25T14:38:00.000-04:00

See this!

BRUTAL HONESTY
Wednesday October 26, 2005
Hosted by me, Lianne Stokes And Giulia Rozzi (who's birthday it is today! Happy Birthday Giulia!)

9pm
FREE!
Otto's Shrunken Head
538 E 14th St between A & B
This month the sensational stories will be about Googling.
Oh the shame.

See you there!

2005-10-17T23:11:00.000-04:00

This is what I did this weekend.
I like shaking hips and all that.
I think that sometimes I don't like it when now I feel like my head is about to explode.

Besides that, today I had a lot of soup. Five servings I think.
That seems excessive.

should i keep it?

2005-10-07T01:43:00.000-04:00

I moved recently and found that I have far too many outfits.
So in an attempt to lead a simpler life, I have thrown out tons and tons of clothing but still find that there are some items I cannot part with.

Here is one piece for example:

It belonged to my mother and I can honestly say I've never seen anything like this before. They really don't make them like this any more--ladies, but then again I don't know if I'd dream up anything like this, and I don't know why I would.

Unfortunately since it really is vintage, there is a hole in the middle. I could easily sew this but let's get real. I'm very lazy.

But it does have this nice collar. Very nice.
It could be a costume or something like that?

Buffet out Hawaiian in Buffet in

2005-09-01T13:43:00.000-04:00

Last week I was very much into buffet. For lunch 3 out of 5 work days last week I had buffet--my favorite being the New Star Deli because it wasn't too crowded and the food for the most part, was delicious.
This week a new Hawaiian place opened up nearby and I thought that I would make my dad proud by eating the food of his people--which consists mainly of meats and rice. The first day I ordered in some BBQ chicken and rice and the second day I ventured into the restaraunt to have some chicken katsu (right now I feel super Asian as I write this) and it was delicious in the moment but my stomach hurt for a little while.
I think I will be returning to the buffet tomorrow. Why I decided to eat fried chicken leftovers this morning still puzzles me. I'm a daredevil?

SOMETHING SOMETHING HOPE

2005-07-29T10:26:00.000-04:00

(photo: Chris Cassidy -- casspix.com)
This is me as Rosie McDavis, a Carnival Cruise diva fo sho. Oh Rosie.

See this show. We had a great opening night. So fun. Yay!

SOMETHING SOMETHING HOPE
A solo show
Written and Performed by Becky Yamamoto

Directed by Alan Fessenden
Produced by Group 120
$10
Juvie Hall
24 Bond Street (Bowery & Lafayette)
Under the Gene Frankel Theater

Appearing with
I THINK I'M DUMB
A solo show
Written and Performed by Alan Fessenden
Directed by Eugene Cordero

Opening Weekend
Thursday, July 28, 8pm
Friday, July 29, 10
Sunday, July 31, 2pm

August 4-7
August 11-14
Thursday-Saturday Shows, 8pm
Sunday Matinee Shows, 2pm

Shows July 18 - 23 and also

2005-07-18T00:01:00.000-04:00

Wednesday, July 20
9pm
BRUTAL HONESTY
FREE
(I co produce this story telling series with lovelies Giulia Rozzi and Lianne Stokes.)

Otto's Shrunken Head
538 E 14th St between A & B

This month: Crushes
Guests: Tony Carnevale, Molly Anderson, Pete Olson, Brandy Barber
Omigod, this will be so fun. It'll be like a sleepover and we tell each other who our crushes are and then one of us will be made fun of the whole night and cause drama, but then we'll all laugh again over a bowl of ice cream. It'll be like that. So come to the show.

*****
Me as Rosie Mc Davis
Full Moon Friday, July 22nd
doors at 8pm - $3

@ STAIN bar
766 Grand St. - Williamsburg

L to Grand, walk one block west
*Dance party starts at 11pm!

freaky funky family
*The anti-oppression festival of culture, art and revolution

I think this is a culture-ey night, which made me say "Sure, I'll be there". I like culture.

*******

Saturday, July 23
I will be performing with my team Stomping Ground. Yay!
Stomping Ground at the Del Close Marathon
11:30 AM (morning, oh dear)
$5 (I think? I know it costs money. I don’t know how much. Oh well.)

*******

Saturday, July 23
The Shark Show
8pm
$5
Parkside Lounge
317 E Houston St

I will be doing the stand up here. I heart this show. Everyone there is so nice.
*******

AND COMING UP...

SOMETHING SOMETHING HOPE
A solo show
Written and Performed by Becky Yamamoto
Directed by Alan Fessenden
Produced by Group 120
$10
Juvie Hall
24 Bond Street (Bowery & Lafayette)
Under the Gene Frankel Theater

Opening Weekend
Thursday, July 28, 8pm
Friday, July 29, 10
Sunday, July 31, 2pm

And then later
August 4-7
August 11-14
Thursday-Saturday Shows, 8pm
Sunday Matinee Shows, 2pm

a cheese danish

2005-07-15T11:09:00.000-04:00

Really what I ate this morning was labeled "Cheese Pocket". It looked innocent enough. It was topped with a glaze and toasted almonds. It should have been delicious. It was okay.

2005-06-30T09:30:00.000-04:00

These are pictures for "Brutal Honesty" that were thrown to the cutting room floor.
(The next one by the way is July 20 at Otto's Shrunken Head.)

I think this one is my favorite:

Another one:

Earlier that night (somewhere at a singles mixer...I can explain that some other time):

Tony Carnevale doing his impression of Alan Fessenden:

Overall I give the evening 4 stars out a possible 5, and in my book, that's pretty dandy.

2005-06-27T09:00:00.000-04:00

(this photo was taken last year in beautiful Seattle, WA by my Best in Show friend, Crystal Curtis.)

This week, no hollas. I think it's because I've taken to more modesty, less skin. More cloth, less clevage. America could learn from me. America, pay attention. We could all take a lesson from Sister Wendy. We could be nuns.

something from a couple days ago and also today

2005-06-16T16:08:00.000-04:00

I need to catch you up on my non holla-ing news.

Two days ago while walking from the bus to the subway, I was in my own world listening to my ipod. I don't know what I was listening to. I think it was the Velvet Underground (is that lame to admit?) because I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking and almost got hit by one car and then almost got hit by another huge huge yellow suv thing. I was very frightened, but I still got a coffee (an iced americano).
Does that count as a holla?

Yesterday, I didn't really leave the house. Kinda.

Today, in the deli, this one man in a blue polo and baseball hat said, "Hey Mami" while I went to pay for my gross egg and cheese on a roll.

holla count in the last three days: 2
outfits: Day 1: grey tshirt and black shorts
Day 2: black dress and navy hoodie
gross egg sandwiches: 1

Show show

2005-06-14T00:23:00.000-04:00

Thursday, June 16
Opening for Wiener Philharmonic
9:30
Juvie Hall

*******

Saturday, June 18
MCC (finally) Has His Way (with Women)
An Evening of Comedy
7:00PM
GALAPAGOS ART SPACE
Admission: $10
www.galapagosartspace.com
(for info & directions)

Featuring:
Becky & Noelle, Desiree Burch, Pat Candaras, Nancy Giles, Rachael Parenta, Jennie Smith, and Becky Yamamoto as "Rosie Mc Davis"
The Proceeds of this evening will be donated to:
The Emerson College Nicole duFresne Memorial Scholarship Fund

an experiment

2005-06-13T17:41:00.000-04:00

So today while eating cheesesteaks with my friend Tony Carnevale, he asked if I got any comments from men on my way there, and in fact I had--two. Every woman in New York knows what I'm saying (sisters?-ew i'm lame).
I attract the hot ones.
One man who was a construction dude in a stylish but casual working vest asked how I was with a swagger and a wink. Another man sitting hotly in his sweat stained whitish t-shirt on a drain pipe leaning in his corner said "(kissing noise)".
On my way back to my office from lunch one chubstery man in a red polo shirt "psst"ed at me.
I don't think it's because I'm hottt stuff, I think it's just how summer works. The tank tops come on, and the morals go out the window. Morals? Well you get my drift.

But also, I don't think I was wearing anything too provocative so that can't be an excuse.

Today's holla count: 3
Who?: red polo chubster, sweaty pit stained man, construction worker
Clothing: brown tank top, jeans
Attitude: generally positive
Mindframe: like a fox
Hands: sweaty

huh

2005-06-11T16:42:00.000-04:00

oh man.
is it weird to comment on the actual thing i'm posting to?
but let's just look at my blog. i still have those "edit me" things there. i have no pictures. my posts aren't very intriguing.
hee hee.
it'll get better.
i think. i'm not promising anything.

i want to see the "Lords of Dogtown".
Skaters, swoon. Do skater boys my age exist? If they do. I love you. Dude, let's skate.

shows June 7 through June 12

2005-06-05T16:43:00.000-04:00

Ooh Space travel, and other movement into the 21st Century...
I'm moving into the newest century and I am so excited.
I have a blog.
yay.
Oh technology you crazy fox.
So here goes, here are the shows I will be in this week:

Tuesday - June 7th @ 10 p.m.
Cheryl B. Presents:
The Poetry vs. Comedy Variety Show -
Poets and Comedians in the Ultimate Battle of Wits!

Emcee: Regie Cabico

The Poets:
Scotty The Blue Bunny
Nathan Penlington
Thaddeus Rutkowski

The Comedians:
Carolyn Castiglia
Jon Friedman
Becky Yamamoto

Galapagos
70 N. 6th St.
Williamsburg, Brooklyn
www.galapagosartspace.com
NO COVER
For more info and to see the cool flyer: www.cherylb.com/pcvariety

*******
Wednesday June 8
Ash Wednesday
Parkside Lounge
7pm
Free
For this I will do a bit with Tony Carnevale. We will be Love Experts. Watch out heartbreakers!

*******

Oh yay!

Thursday, June 8
Welcome To Our Week
Rififi (Cinema Classics)
Hosted by Nick Kroll and Jessi Klein
8pm
Free

**********

Sunday, June 12
"Say Goodnight Gracie Mansion"
An All-Star Evening of Alternative Comedy
Rally and petition-signing party for The Blog Party

Featuring:
Jon Friedman (The Rejection Show)
Bob Powers (girlsarepretty.com)
Todd Levin (tremble.com)
Michelle Collins (votergasm.org)
Carolyn Castiglia
Becky Yamamoto
& special guests...

hosted by Blog Party Mayoral Candidate Andy Horwitz

Sunday, June 12 at Galapagos Art Space - 70 N. 6th Street. Williamsburg
Brooklyn NY USA

Doors at 8 pm
Show at 9pm

FREE!!

chinese girl

2005-02-16T11:36:00.000-05:00

This morning, while walking into the CVS pharmacy with my boss, this drunk man almost collided with us, and then yelled:

"Chinese girl, you got it going on. Chinese girl you made my day!"

It's nice to know that you can bring a smile to someone's face by simply existing. Ah, life.

i'm just like paris hilton

2005-02-15T15:39:00.000-05:00

I know it may not seem like it at first, but I think I am just like Paris Hilton. In the February edition of Jane magazine she said:

"No one writes about my charity work. They'd rather write about me dancing on a table, which I've never done in my life. I don't know how you could dance on tables. The table would like, fall."

Exactly, Paris, exactly.